The Parson Street Sickness

Bottle up your pain pills , deep sharp and low,Go ahead and sleep your life away, i know i will.

The lack of 02 has left your purple heart aching,But iv got a chance cuz my blood is still blue,So why cant you hear the words im screaming back at you.

So lay back and bite your lip, when i look at you , you get sick so i will just keep staring.

Iv got the life supportand it will work in a pinch,Hold your breath when i cut it off, cuz this is a lethal binge.


Bleed out Ashville

Paved with promises and backseat goodbyes.He lied, he said he was coming home to stay.I believe people who seem sincere.After all to be sincere is to be believed.He was so good at being sincere, he was sincere up and down the tracks.He bled sincerity,i bled mascara when he ran sincerity dry.Black on White,close, he said it was all gonna be ok.All the nights i sat front row to the ringtone.The calls he promised to make and the words he said were all so fake.I will tear down them down slowly, my walls built on self destruction and lost faith.No use warning me,i wouldnt care.He was way too sincere.The days drug on, i hung on every word few and far between.I slipped into his favorite game.So bleed out Ashville and hope your walls hold, cuase i would give nothing to break them down slowly.I wont bite any harder than you were that night.So forget about this town cause its already forgotten about you.Confused by colored plastic ,cut to chicago and back.Flood down that street just past the truth between you and me.


What is this crazy thing called love? You cant help but think , This is so wonderous, wether you love love, or hate it.Either way i guess it dosnt matter, because in the end, everyone is loved.There is love in every single persons life.It dosnt matter who it is.Children who’s parents abandon them, still have love.People who have been divorced several times, still have love.WHat can love do for us all? It makes us feel good.It dosnt make us whole.Only our self happiness can do that,and fufilling our pourpose.But love can lead us in so many directions.Sometimes good, sometimes bad.It can tear people apart and bring them together.Think of what the world would be like if everyone felt the love that didnt relize was there all along.i cant imagine a world without hate , but i can imagine a world full of love.Maybe it is crazy to think that love can truley save us all.But i believe in love and i beleive that nothing is stronger than true , no bonds, breathtaking, heart wrenching love.It can save your life.It has saved mine.My families love for me has kept me alive.PC’s love has helped me see what i can truley be and see what is really there.My friends love lifts me up.And Matt’s love………Matt’s love makes me feel like i can do anything, no matter what it might be.I dont have to feel afraid when im with these people that love me because i know that love, true love, will never let you fall.I forgot the most important love of all.God’s love.The truest love there is.The best love.Because i know now he has not forsaken me.He has heard me pray and seen my struggles.He has brought to a place where i have many decisions to make.And i am glad to make them because he gave me the chance to have a life to make him proud.I used to wonder why he had chosen to stay quiet to me.I thought to myself why would you sit in silence while i suffer and cry.But i think its because he wanted to to find my own way through the maze.He would give me the equipment to find teh way but i had to do the directing.I could be wrong but i think iv somewhat got the idea.No matter what mistakes i have made, i can always redeam myself and pray for God to give me the strength to make the right desicion next time.

I just wanna feel it

I never thought i would be one of those girls who just cut themselves for attention. I have always beleived that its just pathetic and stupid to cause yourself pain to gain someone elses care.I still do feel that way.But the other day i did something that i never thougth i would do.I hurt myself to drown out everything else.I didnt want to hear the screaming or the yelling i just wanted to be left alone.But i wasnt.I did it to escape reality for just a second and feel something out of the oridanry numbness.Life all of a sudden became very clear.My only worry, my only goal was to live through and feel through my pain.Some people might call that sick.Some might call it demanted but i call it determination.

Somewhere Between Lost and Found

Ace’s i win, 7’s you lose
And hearts are just too confident
Im holding out just to hold on
And im working up the courage to spit back in your face

The blood is running through my pen
Your friction’s putting me on edge
When you look at me i feel sick…
so just keep staring

It was so fake
But i loved every damn minute of it
My concience is torn in three
Between the truth and you,and me

What happened to true love standards
This wasnt meant to feel good
Extinguish your false faith
And say what you really mean

I was feeling Emo

The beating of your heart makes my ears ring
The sound of your voice makes my heart sting
I wish my heart could hear my mouth say goodbye
But i continued to listen to your lies
The noise followed me to sleep
And even in my dreams you make me scream and weep
But who is to blame you or me
For trying in vain to make you see
We are at a fork, which way do you turn
Do you make your self let go
Or listen to your scared heart saying no
So i will tell you when its over
And i’ll turn of the light
Tell me when your gonna turn over
Kiss me


Walking alone
Walking together
Down the long hallway
Up the shallow stairs
Im in front
A sudden gentle spin
Amoment of weightlessness
Floating on air
A lifetime of extisy condenced
Up the stairs
The tarnished brass handle of my dreams
Hand in hand
The silent longing and hope
The adrenaline makes my heart ache
The awkward butmature voice
I still crave the rush